I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
They should really pass out barf bags in church
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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