plz talk dirty to me
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Dating After Heartbreak
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!