you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i already hear my dad disowning me
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
