I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.