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• (205): View more from Alabama

  She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife

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• (289): View more from Ontario

  So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already

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• (509): View more from Washington

  Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.

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• (830): View more from Texas

  I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch

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• (315): View more from New York

  Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.

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