Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????