I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I think your dad took our porno
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?