just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
