ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I'm always down for nudity.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
