ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
