she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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