I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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