can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
