STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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