It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
