yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
