u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize