your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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