The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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