3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
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