It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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