burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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