Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is classic penis vs brain.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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