Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
what is it with giant penises always finding me
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
