If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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