So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
