if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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