girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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