Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
