I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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