worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
