Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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