Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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