So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
