I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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