How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
