she smelled like a LAN party
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize