Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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