she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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