You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
