can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
then he tried to convert me to islam
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
