two words: eviction party
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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