Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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