We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
