Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
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On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
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Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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