We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
