I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
