Im at strip club and am horny
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
