Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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