i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
