found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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