i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So vagazzling was a success
Randomize
