i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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