ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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