forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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