FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
that may or may not have been my penis.
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