Please, let me fuck your mom
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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