Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
