I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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