You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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